I know my thoughts on birthing are not common, which is one of the main reasons I started this blog. There is so much mis-information out there in our mainstream culture about the natural & normal process of birthing which is so disempowering, that my hope is that I can share some information that shows another side so that mama’s and papa’s out there can make empowered choices from a spectrum of options, instead of the narrow choices presented to us through mainstream consciousness.
So, with this knowing, it’s not surprising that I’ve gotten some flack recently for some of my views. A concerned family member told me I was nuts and should stop believing in orgasmic and lotus birthing. Labor HURTS, after all, and lotus birthing is just plain unnatural and certainly unsanitary, for goodness sake.
Another friend just finished watching “Away We Go” and wanted me to play a joke on his film partner by talking about some “fringe concepts” one of the main characters held about parenting. Apparently they had just compared me to the character in the film and decided I might be a little odd, but I wasn’t “totally nuts” like this character. Apparently she didn’t believe in using strollers (preferring a sling), practiced co-sleeping, etc. A few Q&A’s later it became obvious the character in the film follows Attachment Parenting / Continuum Concept principals and his voice got really small as he realized I’m investigating these philosophies. Naturally, I can’t wait to see the movie.
In the family members case, I think the concern was that I might be naive about the birth process. So, let me elaborate on a few points.
Now, I have to say that an orgasmic birth is possible, but I do realize that every birth experience is different and so many factors, including the babies position and my attitude, will have a lot to do with how everything goes. It’s not my GOAL to have an orgasm during the birth, my goal is to have a baby in a natural & normal way. Creating an environment where I can be mentally, physically and spiritually OPEN will make the process go much smoother, as getting your cervix OPEN is the whole point, right? The conditions needed to have an orgasm (which opens the cervix) can be mimicked during my birthing time to help me relax and OPEN so that I work with the process, not against it. Which means: low lights, relaxing music, only having people I can “let go” completely around, being a willing participant in the process, remove any mental to-do lists or thoughts of controlling the situation. And lots of coconut oil! If I happen to have an orgasm in the meanwhile, well, shoot, that would rule.
A word on pain. I do not like to use that word, but that does not mean I am naive about the birth process. It’s work, it take a lot of focus, and your body undergoes a tremendous process which is accompanied by pressure and your body is busy adjusting moment by moment which can cause changes in blood pressure, heart rate, equilibrium etc. Now, in a lot of cultures, it is normal to have a “painless” birth as that is what they expect – this does not mean they do not have a major physical experience. In our modern culture, it takes a lot of de-programming to get into a place where you’ve lost your fear of this natural process.
I am using a technique called hypno-birthing to help with this de-programming. It teaches relaxation and focus and helps you connect with your baby in the womb. It basically gets you out of your mind and into your primal self, the self that you must be in touch with in order to give birth.
My views are not nuts, they just aren’t common. And from what I’ve witnessed and discovered about the “common” approach to birth in America, I’ll stick with the uncommon and unconventional.