Woman, I am processing a lot right now. Last night I had a couple of bad dreams and couldn’t sleep very well. Today I’ve had so many random thoughts passing through my mind. Worries about finances, about who to tell when, about the seriousness of being responsible for another human being, about how public or private my pregnancy will be given the fact that I’m what some might call a prominent person in the community what with the cafe, radio show and OurLando movement that is launching as we speak.
Generally, I’ve realized that I’m “gifted” with living my life out loud as I have tried to model the values of an earth-centered and conscious business, promoting community amongst people and other businesses as well. I have this genuine need to spread the word about all the cool stuff going on in this town and promote what I call “local goodness” which has led to the radio slot and sharing a bit of myself through the Dandelion blog, but this baby thing is uber personal and quiet heavy. I’m a spiritual person who believes in magic, manifestation, shining light and being the change I wish to see. I know so much information that I learn over the next however many months and years to come will be valuable to so many people in this world and it should be shared freely, joyously and respectfully for everyone involved.
Aside from the tiny miracle that is currently forming it’s little baby face right now (OMG! There’s a BABY growing inside me!!) there is also this alternative approach to having a baby that I intend to participate in that may open people’s minds to a more natural and blissful birthing experience for many women out there. I’ve long felt called to motherhood and the birthing community and have often said I wouldn’t mind a second career as a doula. So, this is where I, the big picture visionary, get caught dreaming and start to feel a little overwhelmed. I’m already thinking about how to add baby food to the menu, where I’m going to put the little kids table outside with a little play area and which organization I need to connect with in order to better spread the word about organic nutrition and self-sufficiency in parenthood.
And I haven’t even been to the midwife yet. Sigh, I need to slow down a little, eh?