Last night, my friend Brian met Maya for the first time. He asked me what the best part is. I couldn’t answer him at first, thinking how can I pick the best part – every second has been so amazing. I settled on morning time: waking up with her in my arms, seeing her smile beaming at me. She doesn’t even realize for one second that waking up is suppose to be difficult, as has been my thought for the past I can’t-remember-how-many-years. She’s so relaxed and peaceful. Sometimes I’ll wake up from a breastfeeding nap and she’ll be studying my face like I study hers when she is asleep. It’s a mutual admiration & wonder society around here. Everything she does is a discovery and it is so freaking gleeful to watch her as she discovers things like… her feet. I mean, they’ve been there the whole time, but she actually discovered she had them one day, then she discovered that she could put them in her mouth and slobber on them. This is amazing.
Or tonight, she’s playing on her little mat and starts grunting to let me know she needs some attention so I scoop her up and we lay down together. She suckles for awhile, one hand on my heart chakra like usual, staring at the multi-colored light making a pretty pattern on the wall behind me. She stops suckling and just stares, eyelids shutting so slowly, opening again, slowly drifting off to sleep as her sweet breath fills my nose with a heady perfume that makes me loop around in my love for her all over again. What a trip.